When enough, is ENOUGH!!!

My poor Bubba has suffered for almost 6 years now with breathing problems, constant bowel impactions, turning blue for no apparent reason, always sniffling, coughing and short of breathe!!!

We have had him in every hospital, doctors office, specialists you name it!!!

He has been admitted to the hospital more times than I even care to count, and he has spent more time than any child should being poked, prodded and irritated!!! He has even had some very trying stays in the PICU, and we have almost lost him on more than 1 occasion!!! All we ever heard from the doctors was, "He's Fine, We can't find anything wrong, Just keep giving him treatments (around the clock), Heres some more meds try these" and THE ALL TIME WORST THING "Your just going to have to deal with it" WHAT?!?!?! SERIOUSLY WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU!!!! Ok yeah no problem at all, he can just suffer, struggle to breathe and live a normal daily life, have an SPO2 way below normal, not be able to sleep, or attend school, or run around the yard and play like any other kid his age, because your too damn lazy to take the time to find out whats wrong with him, and just sit back and collect that money!!! Really what kind of doctor (many doctors in fact) does that, just sends a kid home to suffer, time after time after time!!! 

You know, a mom is supposed to fight for her children, absolutely, but a mom should not have to beg, borrow, steal, plead and pray for someone to just please take care of their child medically, when they have suffered from 3 weeks old!!!!

So after almost 6 years of fighting and begging and pleading and walking down many dead ends, and feeling like I have just been banging my head off the wall, feeling like everyone was against me and  thinking that I am crazy, we went to the ER once again with him last week, shallow breathing, low SPO2, barely moving any air in his lungs at all, all he was getting out was groans and noises (talk about feeling useless to your child) he was crying because he knew what was coming, more needle sticks, prodding and x-rays and what we thought would be just another, "He's fine, keep giving him treatments and here's some steroids to go home with" or "we are gonna admit him overnight for observation and give him treatments and steroids" and then just send him home again......I fought and got a little aggressive as I have always had to do with the doctors, which really come on, I shouldn't have to get bitchy for you to do your damn job, so when I looked up to see the doctor that walks into his room, my heart sinks, it's the same doctor that always says "oh, he has the flu, lets get him on some antibiotics" ugh really I am so mad right now, starting to stew as he opens his mouth to talk!!! He says we are gonna do an x-ray and start some steroids and see how he does, I stand up and explain that we have been waiting *****2 WEEKS***** for his pediatrician to order a CT-scan (which is total bullshit especially since I called everyday) and surprisingly he says "oh ok lets get it done now and see whats really going on". I am on the defensive waiting to get a BS story on him not ordering one, and am about to start yelling when I realized oh hell did he just agree? lol wow, well ok then great!!!

Finally after all this poor child has been through, he is getting his CT-scan. Shockingly the test was done and results were back in the doctors hands within the hour. Record time in the ER, and FINALLY FINALLY FINALLY we got an answer, I still have many mixed emotions over the fact that someone finally gave us a diagnosis, even though its not something we can fix and that absolutely KILLS me beyond. We got something, something we can hold onto, something real, 

I am not crazy, my baby really is sick, its not just a "cold" or just a bad "asthma attack" its real!!!!

UGH!!!!!!!!!

We found out that the bottom portion of his left lung is very weak due to so much fluid build up, and collapses basically at the drop of a pin, and because its damaged it can't fully expand the way it should, ugh this poor child, we think that its very possible he was born with this because of it starting at just 3 weeks old!!! All of the symptoms associated with this diagnosis, fit him to a T, its all right there, and it has explained many more issues that he has been having as well!!!

We are leaving for Maryland today, to see a Specialist tomorrow at JOHNS HOPKINS!!!!!

I am absolutely terrified/nervous/anxious for this appointment. I don't think I have ever stood in this state of uncertainty before, but I am really trying to stay hopeful and optimistic, that they will be able to do something for him!

Thank you for taking the time to listen to my rants.....and please, Keep him in your prayers today and tomorrow. That maybe that they will finally be able to help him not struggle anymore!!! <3