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From the NICU to 1 in a Flash

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...What a year it has been!!!   He stepped into our lives 10 weeks earlier than he was supposed to, in a totally unexpected uproar, and god bless his little heart he hasn't stopped yet!!! It was unlike any other Sunday, I was home doing the normal putz around and lounging, except I just didn't feel well. I was all caught up in nausea, tiredness, belly ache...I just plain old felt like crap lol... I went to bed that night, only to wake a few hours later to find myself getting sick, and that's when the pain started! I thought at first just an upset stomach, that maybe I had eaten something that didn't agree with me! After a few hours I knew something just wasn't right, I woke my husband and mother up after calling the on-call OB to tell them we had to trek the hour to the hospital because something was wrong! After waking up my “Big Man” and packing him to go to Didi ’s we headed out, and that's when the contractions started and the pain multiplied
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6 AM?!?!

I would love to know just exactly where children get all of the energy they have (I have got to get me some), my big guy has been sick all week, and my little guy hasn't slept through the night in 3 weeks and yet they are both bright eyed and cheery toed at 6 AM!!! "GOOD MORNING MOMMY!!! LETS GET UP AND HAVE JUICE AND WATCH TV!!!!" Ahhhhh!!!! So.....Little guy had me up from 1-2:30, 4-5 and not to mention being up at 10:00 for a little while as well, then I have been watching over the Big guy like a hawk because of his breathing issues, which he hasn't been sleeping more than 8 hrs a night either!!! Don't get me wrong I absolutely love that they are both so cheery and happy when they get up, but really, 6 AM!!!!! Where does the energy come from if they aren't getting nearly enough sleep to re-charge?! Anyway, sorry for the rant, but jeez kids come on now Momma needs at least one 4 hour stretch this week!!! HAHA (or maybe just a bottl
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~From A lost Time in my Life~ While Stepping into the unknown Alone... Beleaguered, Exhausted & Tired, tired of fighting this world under this massive burden. To never sleep, to hear it all as you try and close your eyes and step into the abyss. The never ending cries and the screaming! The beautiful black cloaked woman that forever has come and gone, in & out of dreams or coming here and there. Every so often walking by my side, or the feeling of her there helping to drive me a little further. The sensation of her always giving me something whether it be wisdom or some sort of unknown power or strength. The forever wanting to know just what it all means and when will it all come to play in my existence of this world. I once had someone in my world that helped me to make sense if it. Craft it into some sort of veracity, but now I know It's I who has to take the step blindfolded into the dark murkiness to form it into some kind of sense. It isn't always a malicious inten
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